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My New Year's Resolution

Okay, okay, I know it's about 2 weeks early (give or take)... but somehow, I came to this today and absolutely knew that it has to be mine. First a little bit of background. I am hated by pretty much all of Dave's family. Not just hated, but treated as though I am the anti-Christ. This has gone on for three years. I won't slander anyone by telling the gorry details of the mean, vindictive, horrible things they have said and done to me. But let's just say that it's bad. Not your regular "in-law" hatred. And it's not just them, but his sister, her kid, his ex-wife (same deal, not your everydy run of the mill ex-wife hatred), his grandparents. It's been a very long three years. They've dedicated the time to making my life miserable and making our wedding as non-celebration-esque as possible. So to say the least, I'm resentful and actually hateful towards these people. This is not who I am. I'm not a hateful person. I'm a country girl.... I love everyone if they give me the chance. But this hatred has taken up soooooo much of my energy this past three years. And I can't take it any more. I just can't. I've done everything in my power to make ammends for something I didn't wrong in the first place. I've tried to play nice, I've done EVERYTHING I can. To no avail.

So, I've come to the conclusion (my resolution) that I just have to give up my hatred, resentment, my anger, and my hostility towards these people. They obviously are not going to change. And as my shrink once told me, they are not capable of acting socially "normal". She said that I have to see a big blinking "CRAZY, CRAZY, CRAZY" sign whenever I have to deal with them or even think about them. (those of you who've been on my myspace page will see that I actually have a sign that says that very thing.... to remind me) I have to let it go, because they are wasting too much of my energy and they honestly, don't deserve it. They're not worth the time it takes to be hurt by them.

So that's my resolution for this year. Though it's come a few weeks early, I think that it is very good.